LIFE IS NOT A SNAPSHOT

Last Friday night we had an amazing encounter whilst out on Street Pastors. It had been a quiet and extremely cold night and by about 2 am I was desperately hoping the club would close early and we could get home before the usual 4 am. I then noticed someone dressed slightly strangely outside McDonalds: green wellington boots and farmer-type clothes, not the usual gear for the night revellers! He was pacing about , quite agitated and distressed. He came into McDonalds and we began to engage him in conversation.
He told us he had been out with his girlfriend who had quite suddenly gone off with a complete stranger who had invited her for a drink. He was tearful and gradually more of the story unfolded; she was wanted by the police to be returned to prison, for breaching the terms of her licence. They clearly had a stormy relationship and he had a methadone bottle in one pocket and a bottle of vodka in the other. He worked as a gamekeeper but money was tight and he told us he had been helped out many times by the Salvation Army in our town with food parcels (the SA leader is also a street pastor and we were able to tell him this).
He talked about his girlfriend, who was a crack cocaine addict, but said he still loved her, despite her volatility. They had two children together and he became even more distressed as he said they had both been adopted as social services had decided that he and his partner were 'failures' in this area. He got out his mobile phone to show us a photo of the children and to our amazement we recognised the older one as the little boy that friends at our church had fostered from birth until his very recent adoption (over 18 months). It felt like this was a real 'God -incidence', and although it wasn't possible to reveal this to him, it was possible to talk in a way that encouraged him to believe his children had been well cared for. As time went on, we learnt he had at one time been baptised as a Christian, that he still had a Bible he read sometimes, that when the baby was born, they had asked a local Baptist pastor that we knew to pray with them all, as he was extremely small and unlikely to survive. I also knew that the baby had been born opiate addicted and had many health problems early in life and God had surely answered prayers.

At this point I felt strongly it was right to ask if we could pray for him; right in the middle of a crowded McDonalds at three in the morning, and he was very grateful. I just prayed that God would touch his life, look after his children , give him assurance that they were well cared for, and begin to intervene in the problems that he and his partner faced.
In some ways it seemed a small thing, and I'm sure that he faces many struggles ahead, but it just felt like we never know what God does and we are called just to take the opportunities He gives us. That there were many evidences of God touching this man's life, that God cared about his child and had placed him in a lovely Christian home for the first 18months of his life and that this encounter we had had, in some ways, totally randomly, would also be evidence to him that there is a God who loves him and has a future and a hope for him.

The title for this blog, 'Life is not a snapshot' comes from a Josh Wilson song and reminds me that we only see things in part, but God has the bigger picture and He is the expert at putting the pieces together. It encourages me to see all the encounters I may have in my day to day life, whether at work or out doing street pastors, or in any other place , as possibilities to extend God's grace and mercy to those who need it. I may not be able to provide all the answers for people, but I can point them in the direction of a God who can and at least show them that He cares.

Goodbye Ordinary

When I chose the title for my blog, 'An Ordinary Life', it came after quite a long time of thinking my life was so ordinary that there was nothing worth blogging about! And in some ways that's still what I think! It might explain why I haven't blogged for months , partly as I still think I have nothing particular to say, and partly because the everyday things of life, working full-time, family activities , church life etc, take up so much time that I don't have much left for it.

But for the last couple of weeks this 'Mercy Me' song has captured my thoughts and just seems to say something about how, despite all the usual stuff we have to do everyday, there can be 'something more':

"Live like there's no tomorrow, love extravagantly, lead a life to be followed, Goodbye ordinary, goodbye ordinary".

It captures what I want my life to be like, I want to make each day count. I want to do my job to the best of my ability, I want to love and invest in my family and friends, I want to serve God, with the gifts He has given me, I want to give generously, I want to break out of the 'ordinary' greed and consumer driven life that is now normal in my culture, I want to be someone who appreciates and encourages others and I want God to lead me continually forwards into new things, out of my comfort zone, into unknown territory which will definitely not be 'ordinary'.

I realise its aspirational, and maybe ambitious, but I do know God is real, He has changed my life and He continues to do that. He has greater things ahead for me , and so I really do want to say 'Goodbye Ordinary' and "Hello" to the abundant extravagant exciting life of the Kingdom!

Cape Town - Getting ready!

In less than a week we will be on our way! There have some interesting developments over the past couple of weeks. We have been asking for donations to take with us for the children at City Mision school. Our house is now beginning to be taken over with football kit, balls, stationary items and it has been great to see people's generosity. The most surprising gift was from my husband and son's football team (AFC Wimbledon, long story!!) who donated approximately £1500 of brand new kit! AS we began to look at all we had, we were wondering how on earth we were going to get it over there! Having made our children promise that they would pack lightly (difficult especially for a 14 year old girl, who's insisting at least that the hair straighteners get to go!), it was still looking unlikely that everything would fit in!
So a phone call and subsequent e-mail to British Airways were made and they immediately DOUBLED our baggage allowance when we explained what it was for. And not only ours, but the other members of our party too! So now we have the next few days to sort through everything and decide what to take.

Another development has been finding out about a project in Paarl (Montecristo Ministries), in the cape winelands. This contact has been made through Worldwide Emergency Relief who support it. The chief executive of WER is Alex Haxton, who, with his family were a part of the church I grew up in, and we have recently reconnected through Facebook. I have just met with Alex and Rita and heard about the work going on in Paarl, where over 1000 children from the informal settlements have been engaged in sports teams, including over 200 girls. As a result, I have made contact with them and we plan to visit, taking two of the guys from the Impact Centre to see if connections can be made and ideas transferred. The Impact team have just finished a holiday club for the children and young people of the Athlone area and are wanting to continue to engage with and build relationships with them on an ongoing basis. Development of sport might be one way forward and I am praying this visit might open up some doors and opportunities.

So, with just a few days to go, we are excited and expectant and praying that God will once again take us out of our comfort zones, put us in situations where we need to trust Him and amaze us by what He is going to show us. To Him be all the glory!

'Break Our Hearts' - Back to Cape Town!

We are just getting ready to go back to Cape Town for a second mission trip. We will once again be the guests of Cape Town Christian Fellowship and will be helping out where we can at City Mission Educational Services and at the Impact Centre, between July 23rd and Aug 7th. Both these projects are situated in Bridgetown, on the Cape Flats and serve the community there which is seriously affected by drug misuse and gangsterism. This time last year was the first time we had really encountered first hand the difficulties in these communities. We were humbled and our lives have not been the same since. We are not arrogant enough to suggest that we made a lot of difference in the two weeks we were there, but we learnt so much and what was started was a deep love for the community and the church, and a certainty that this was only the beginning of future links , relationships and God-given connections and opportunities.

Since we came home, we have enjoyed building relationships with people from the school, centre and church, hosted some visitors in UK, formed a partnership between our church (Redhill Baptist)and CTCF, facilitated some financial support from another UK church, made some links between some UK schools and CMES and prepared to return this year with another team.

And so soon we will be off! There are 12 of us from two churches and the team includes 5 teenagers. We expect to be helping out with sports, arts and crafts, team building activities and one to one support with the school pupils (all of whom have been excluded from mainstream education, many have challenging home situations and some are former street children.) At the Impact centre, there will be opportunities for interacting with the seniors programme, involvement in training and supervision of the team, as well as times of fellowship and continuing to 'build the bridge' between the UK and SA.

I'm excited, expectant and humbled because I know how much my life is different to what it was, as a result of getting involved in these projects, and experiencing so much of God's life changing power and grace. I am wanting Him to do even more this year!

My prayer as we go is this :' Break our hearts with the things that break Yours, Wake us up to see through Your eyes, Break our hearts with the things that break Yours and send us out to shine in the darkness.....'

Watch this space for more updates!

REMAINING EMPATHIC

I have been working as a psychiatrist for over 20 years now. I love my work, find it intellectually stimulating, rarely boring and consider myself blessed to have met many interesting people. I have also been priviledged to work with so many committed people over all these years.
One question many people ask when I tell them what I do (which in itself can be a conversation stopper!) is how do I detach from it all, don't I take it all with me?
The honest answer is that you have to leave it all behind most of the time. There are so many stories of distress that you hear day by day, that it would overwhelm you, if you let it. But the balance of that is that its also important to remain empathic, to somehow continue to stand in other people's shoes and understand, at least in part, what they have gone through. And every now and then, some people's stories hit home, impact you and you find it harder just to leave them at the office door.

Last Friday was a good example: I was asked to meet with parents whose son had schizophrenia and who died in quite horrific circumstances, by self inflicted stab wounds at their home 2 years ago. I had never been involved in his clinical care, and had been previously asked to write a review of his care within our trust, and then had to attend the recent coroners inquest. His care was less than adequate and I confess it was really hard to meet these parents, acknowledge that much more could have been done than had been, and feeling a sense of collective responsibility despite not being personally involved. I came away impressed with the dignified way in which they had dealt with this terrible tragedy and how surprisingly free of anger and bitterness they were. They simply said that they had been crying out for help for their son, cries they thought had gone largely unheard. They now wanted to make sure there were changes and that no-one else would have to go through what they had gone through.

Their story was very sad, and as I left them to start the weekend, it wasn't entirely possible to leave it all behind. I realise that their lives will never be the same again and I felt that it was right to feel some of that pain with them. If I am to continue to do my job the best way I can, then I need to be compassionate , caring, and empathic and that above all , I need God's love and grace to help me do that.

From Bridgetown Back To Redhill

A few days after our walk around Bridgetown, on the Cape Flats, we were back out doing Street Pastors in Redhill. Over the months, we have become more familiar with our town at night. It isn't the worst place to be, by any stretch of the imagination, but everytime we go out, I am struck by how many empty hurting people there are , and how they are seeking fulfillment in things which will never satisfy. Not so different from Bridgetown really, and everywhere across the world, people need Jesus to answer the questions in their lives.
Three people we met last Friday night have stuck in my mind. The first, a girl of 16 (K), who when we first saw her was curled up in a ball on the pavement, with a policewoman talking to her. It transpired she had broken up with her boyfriend, who as still around, and in between sobbing on the pavement, she became aggressive towards him and out herself at risk from him too. She wasn't particularly keen to talk to us, or the police, but eventually she was persuaded to go home in a friend's car. Second was a young man in his early 20's (D) who we talked to for about 45 minutes in McDonalds. He was intoxicated but over time, told his story of parental separation when he was 4, being a 'football' in the ensuing custody battle between his parents, and how his mother was recently going her second divorce after discovering her husband was having an affair. She had become suicidal and D had needed to lock up medicines at home, and felt he couldn't leave home, partly because of the risks she presented and partly because of the financial support he could give to her by staying there.
Finally was R, who was waiting for a cab after being at the nightclub. He showed us his bandaged up arm , from where he had cut his wrists the night before, He had also taken an overdose after feeling overwhelmed by financial difficulties.

None of these stories are necessarily remarkable in themselves, but they are the 'bread and butter' of life as a Street Pastor on a Friday and Saturday night in our town, and I suspect other towns and cities across the country. What is always amazing to me is that there are so many people wanting to talk, share something of their lives, and perhaps don't have much other opportunity to do so.
I pray that we can continue to be the eyes, ears, voice , hands and feet of Jesus to those we meet.

Grace Tells Us Another Story

This Mercy Me song is the inspiration for this blog. We spent Monday morning last week on a walking tour of Bridgetown, on the Cape Flats, Cape Town , South Africa. We were taken round by Bradley Naidoo, a young man who spent more than half of his life in the gang and drug culture that is now endemic in this part of the world. But almost 5 years ago Bradley met Jesus, was miraculously set free from years of drug addiction and now is faithfully wanting to serve God and bring hope and restoration to his community.

The latest project that 'Impact Direct' (the christian ministry that Bradley is part of), wants to implement is to restore a derelict set of shops in a building in the heart of Bridgetown. This is currently a drug den and gang hang out. The local residents are very concerned by the rising crime there. It is hoped that the place can be transformed into a centre for healing and reconciliation. The aim is to turn 'negative spaces into positive spaces'. There is a lot of work to do; the buildings are totally wrecked currently, with no electricity, walls covered in gang graffitti, broken windows,and unsafe ceilings. But Bradley and his colleagues from Impact Direct are putting in many hours of time to begin the work of transformation.

On our walk around Bridgetown, we were introduced to many current gang members. Bradley is constantly engaging with them and seeking to show them there is an alternative way of life from the only one they currently know, of violence and drugs. But the reality of the risks of life on the Cape Flats was crudely demonstrated to us, when one young teenager me met, part of the 'Playboy' gang, was, three days later, shot four times in the chest by a rival gang member.
We pray that Impact continues to be able, with the love and power of Jesus, to show this community that life can be different.
In the words of this song :

'They say don't waste your time, You simply cannot find an ounce of good within the heart of man. They say we've got to lay in this bed we've made, and live this life without a second chance.
But I'm inclined to say there must be something more.
We've been told that the heart is just too far gone to save, but grace tells us another story, where glory sends hopelessness away.Oh GRACE TELLS US ANOTHER STORY!!'