REMAINING EMPATHIC

I have been working as a psychiatrist for over 20 years now. I love my work, find it intellectually stimulating, rarely boring and consider myself blessed to have met many interesting people. I have also been priviledged to work with so many committed people over all these years.
One question many people ask when I tell them what I do (which in itself can be a conversation stopper!) is how do I detach from it all, don't I take it all with me?
The honest answer is that you have to leave it all behind most of the time. There are so many stories of distress that you hear day by day, that it would overwhelm you, if you let it. But the balance of that is that its also important to remain empathic, to somehow continue to stand in other people's shoes and understand, at least in part, what they have gone through. And every now and then, some people's stories hit home, impact you and you find it harder just to leave them at the office door.

Last Friday was a good example: I was asked to meet with parents whose son had schizophrenia and who died in quite horrific circumstances, by self inflicted stab wounds at their home 2 years ago. I had never been involved in his clinical care, and had been previously asked to write a review of his care within our trust, and then had to attend the recent coroners inquest. His care was less than adequate and I confess it was really hard to meet these parents, acknowledge that much more could have been done than had been, and feeling a sense of collective responsibility despite not being personally involved. I came away impressed with the dignified way in which they had dealt with this terrible tragedy and how surprisingly free of anger and bitterness they were. They simply said that they had been crying out for help for their son, cries they thought had gone largely unheard. They now wanted to make sure there were changes and that no-one else would have to go through what they had gone through.

Their story was very sad, and as I left them to start the weekend, it wasn't entirely possible to leave it all behind. I realise that their lives will never be the same again and I felt that it was right to feel some of that pain with them. If I am to continue to do my job the best way I can, then I need to be compassionate , caring, and empathic and that above all , I need God's love and grace to help me do that.